Extasis
by The Readers Muse
Summary: He felt like an accident against Simon lips when the fledgling surged up and kissed him.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Netflix's "Shadowhunters." Everything belongs to whoever owns them, my wishful thinking aside.

 **Authors Note #1:** Because, let's face it, we all needed a little something-something after the season finale.

 **Warnings:** season one spoilers – including the finale. Vampires, sexual content, sex, blood, blood drinking, first time, kinda like a gay virginity loss thing-thing, canon appropriate language and violence.

 **Extasis**

 _ **Chapter One**_

He felt like an accident against Simon lips when the fledgling surged up and kissed him. Furious and desperate as they stood alone together in the hotel. The fallout of their fight raining down around them as the broken sprinkler heads in the ceiling spewed water over the lavish furnishings.

"I have come to a conclusion," Simon said breathlessly, chest heaving as he sucked in air he didn't need. A blood-tinted string of saliva keeping them connected as the blunt of the fledgling's fangs glinted in the low light. Unashamedly on display when Simon chased his lips, mouthing at the corners as the hand that'd settled on his hip without him noticing clenched in time with the moment's pulse.

"Oh? Que es eso?" he snarled, voice so wrecked he barely recognized it. Muting a curse in his mother tongue when he looked down and realized his hands were still fisted in the front of Simon's stupid jacket. Keeping him close as a section of one of the marble pillars shivered down a polished side and crashed across the tiles behind them.

He hissed, showing the fledgling his teeth despite their closeness. Despite how he could _feel_ Simon's hardness pressing against his thigh as his own did the same. Showing his hand – _showing how much he wanted_ \- as the last of the duck-down from the destroyed cushions feathered down around them like the lightest rain. Part of him still not ready to forgive Simon's betrayal as the man shuddered against him. And yet- their combined arousal was already tinting the air. Sending the shadows of those who'd been watching from the eves elsewhere. Each of them knowing full well where this particular road would lead.

Perhaps they'd known all along.

Perhaps that was why Simon had been allowed back into the hotel without his permission.

Why he'd made it up to the lounge before he'd sensed him.

Why none had sprung to back him when Simon had refused to leave until they'd spoken.

Simon had a way of inspiring loyalty in people.

Even if he did not extend his own kind the same courtesy.

He growled, baring his fangs again as the thought hit close to home. Sharding itself into a thousand fractured pieces. Just like the gilded mirror he'd thrown Simon against when he'd dared to meet his eyes from across the room. Tone low and expression hopeful as apologies fell from his lips like endearments. Turning resentment into rage when he realized how easily he could cave to it. How he wanted to. _Needed to_.

But instead of speaking, Simon just shook his head. Darting in to nip at his lower lip, then his chin, showing deference and lust as the implication of the act threatened to make him dizzy. He swayed forward, hands migrating upwards as the sharp of his nails raked gentle furrows down the pale of the fledgling's throat. Stuck somewhere between wanting to push him away and encourage him repeat the action.

In the end, he didn't have to do either.

 _Because Simon did it again._

The intent was unmistakable and bold, just as much as it was impossible. But he seized it regardless, pulling it close – _safe_ \- as a rumbling purr left him like an exhale. The sound made Simon quiver and look up, watching him through the fan of his lashes as the barest curl of the fledglings tongue flicked out to bathe the pulse point just underneath his chin.

His nails dug into the flesh of his palm, leaking iron.

The fledgling couldn't know.

 _What such a thing meant to their kind._

But the demon in him only chuffed encouragingly, animally-pleased. Letting go of an asserting little churl he didn't know his throat could even make as his hips ground up against Simon's like he just couldn't help himself. Jerking into the solid, lanky weight of him as his own inexperience rushed headily to the forefront

 _Qué coño estaba haciendo? Había bargo- no como esto- no-_

"Simon...dios" he breathed, hating himself for how he advanced a step. Slowly backing the fledgling towards the nearest wall as he tasted his lips with a brutalized groan. "Qué demonios estás haciendo?"

"I know what I'm doing," Simon panted, doing something with his tongue that was so utterly sinful his hips stuttered. "I know what I want. I'm so sorry, I just- I know now. If you even want me back that is- Raphael, fuck-I-"

He tried to break away, throat thick with it, but only succeeded in lurching back a half-step. Taking Simon with him when the fledgling refused to let go of his lapels. Dark hair wild and glittering with pieces of marble and broken mirror. Keeping them suspended for a long moment before gravity took them back and suddenly he was pinning the man against the wall. Scenting down his skin and clothes with an exaggerated pull. Hissing the man still when he threatened to squirm. Wanting to memorize every unfamiliar scent and put together the pieces that made up the smattering of weeks since Camille's escape. Since Simon's betrayal. Since-

 _Dios._

He rocked back. The curl of his nails an ever present threat as the dark voice he'd been fighting ever since the man's scent had reached him demanded what they'd wanted all along. What he'd claimed for his own so thoroughly that even the rest of the clan had taken note. Hindsight was a terrible creature, he realized. Because even from the beginning he'd treated Simon differently. Like he was special, worthy. Like-

His fingers flexed, awkward but caught when his arm firmed around the small of the fledglings back. Chin tipping up to nuzzle at the swollen plush of his lips until Simon opened for him. Tracing his tongue down the sharp of the man's fangs before Simon got greedy and tried to own it. If he hadn't known better he would have blamed the tightness in his chest on some warlock's spell. Hating himself more than he ever had as the dark voice gained ground in his mind's eye. Whispering things he'd almost forgotten. Things he wanted to forget. Things he couldn't in good faith ask or claim for his own.

 _It was too much._

 _All those weeks without this?_

 _Without Simon?_

He'd refused to admit it. Even to himself. But each one had been endless and dull in a way that made him realize just how silent his days had been before Simon's inane chattering had rushed in to fill them. Before Simon was zipping around the hotel with his newborn excitement, endearing himself to even the grimmest of their clan as he bullied people into movie nights and spontaneous board games he seemed to procure out of nowhere. Turning their training into an exercise of control as he fought the urge of pin the fledgling to the ground until he submitted. Wanting more than anything to smell himself on him and no one else whenever the man returned from the Institute and carried other people – other scents - on his skin.

 _Life._

 _Simon was life._

He'd been an unexpected spring to an eternal winter.

And now, not only was he here, right in front of him, but Simon wanted-

His chin jerked up like a sword thrust.

"This is not-" he started, momentarily losing his train of thought when one of Simon's hands inched downward. "I don't share."

"You won't have to," Simon returned, emphatic but with blown pupils that almost made him believe it. Thoughts of Clary's bright hair, cupid cheeks and Simon's adoring eyes following her abruptly dissolving when he looked up and found Simon's eyes on his face. Expression stripped so bare he couldn't help but look away.

He wanted to ask how and why now.

He wanted to demand everything the man had already said with his lips and tongue.

He wanted to feel the bones in the fledgling's throat flex and give under his hands.

He wanted to tear the truth from his bones writhe naked it in it.

But instead-

"Prove it," he growled.

* * *

 **A/N:** Thank you for reading, please let me know what you think. – There will be one more chapter, stay tuned.

 **Reference:**

The title "extasis" is the Spanish word for: "ecstasy."

""Oh? Que es eso?" _–_ "Oh? What is that?"

"Qué coño estaba haciendo? Había bargo- no como esto- no-" - What the fuck was he doing? He'd never- not like this- not-"

"Qué demonios estás haciendo?" – "What the hell are you doing?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Netflix's "Shadowhunters." Everything belongs to whoever owns them, my wishful thinking aside.

 **Authors Note #1:** Because, let's face it, we all needed a little something-something after the season finale.

 **Warnings:** season one spoilers – including the finale. Vampires, sexual content, sex, blood, blood drinking, first time, kinda like a gay virginity loss thing-thing, canon appropriate language and violence.

 **Extasis**

 _ **Chapter Two**_

 _Prove it._

He wasn't sure what he'd been expecting when he'd uttered it. Maybe part of him – the one that hissed denial and existed only in monotone syllables and greyscale - had been hoping the challenge would have startled some sense into him. That Simon would teeter back and start babbling awkwardly. Hands wind-milling and flighty as the moment eased back into familiar territory. Where one word from him would put all this smoothly behind them.

But that wasn't what happened.

 _Not even close._

Instead, Simon bared his throat like breathing. Like it cost him nothing at all as the tendons fluttered underneath the freckled-porcelain of his skin. Beautiful in his submission but the last thing from weak as his cock firmed painfully across the line of his fitted slacks.

 _Hijo de puta._

"I did my research," Simon murmured, almost shaking. Not with fear, but desire. It was all there in the air around them, accessible and thick as the man's Adam's apple bobbed. A stuttered mess of want, need and a thousand other things he'd never dreamed could be his and his alone.

There was a momentary flash of jealousy when the thought connected.

 _Who could have told him?_

This wasn't something their kind exactly shared.

 _And better yet, how could he want that?_

 _This?_

 _With him?_

It was beyond intimacy.

Beyond physical pleasure.

It was a display of mutual intent.

A show of respect and desire and _dios_ \- he was lost.

"Simon," he started, voice threatening to go reedy and desperate-thin as his tongue darted out to wet his lower lip. Fangs aching as he tried and failed to drag his eyes away from the tempting line of the fledgling's throat. Wanting to touch, bite and possess all at once. Feeling unsteady and almost mad with it as he stopped his hand from wrapping around the man's neck. Allowing it to curl instead around the flare of Simon's shoulder as they breathed each other's air – forgetting they didn't need it.

But Simon just shook his head, shuffling closer.

"Please, you need to know – we both do."

When he hissed, it was a vicious, animal sound. Slow-cooked in frustration and confusion as he sank the sharp of his nails into the meat of the man's shoulders. Wanting it to hurt more than it actually did as the fledgling stood firm. Making everything a hundred percent harder when he actually leaned into it. Pitching out an assenting little sound as his nose brushed up against the man's throat without his consent.

 _When had he gotten that close?_

 _He didn't even remember moving._

 _How-_

"Please…Raphael…"

The rest happened quickly. Viper-fast and without censor as his control snapped. Finding himself cutting forward, fangs bared. Crowding Simon up against the wall as he buried his hand in the man's hair. Fisting his dark curls as he brought the fledgling solidly into the clutch of him before his fangs grazed down the side of his neck. Breaking ground as Simon went lax and pleasure-warm underneath him.

His eyes flew open when the rich-red of him flooded across his tongue.

 _Dios, it was unlike anything he'd ever tasted!_

He snarled a fractured sound into the hollow of the man's throat as he swallowed.

 _Once._

 _Twice._

 _Again._

Coasting on a knife edge of pleasure and pain as everything Simon was, everything he felt, thought, wanted and remembered rippled through him on a rising undercurrent of white-washed red. Soaring higher and higher as Simon moaned, cock blurting the earthy taint of pre-cum into the air as he ground his hips into the curl of the man's jeans. Demanding every inch he could get out of the angle, and purring his approval as their scents melded.

It was addictive, he realized. Shuddering into it as Simon's hand firmed around the back of his head. Pulling him closer, deeper, as a new fountain of red - this one rich and dark and already whispering secrets – welled up like a dam threatening to over-spill its banks.

He swallowed, rumbling deep in his chest, as memories of their fight flickered past. Seeing himself from Simon's perspective as he watched him from the doorway. Sneering violence as his fangs dropped. Feeling Simon's shame, determination and arousal like it was his own as he tried to explain.

He swallowed a second time. Watching the weeks between inch by. Half-drowned in regret, recrimination and anger. Watching Simon toss and turn alone in an unfamiliar bed. Watching him wake up with his name on his lips and wet staining across the white of borrowed sheets. Watching him linger outside the hotel, unable to get up the nerve to march inside. Watching him make faces into a hallway mirror as he sipped a glass of rank looking blood – a far cry from the premium richness he'd been fed since his rebirth.

He watched daydreams become reality behind closed lids. He watched himself haunt every shadowed corner of the Institute. Existing in that half-second flicker only to vanish before the fledgling could turn around. Lingering in every dry, off color remark from Alec. The jokes he made at his own expense to deflect. And every word that started off with the letters of his name. He watched Clary try and talk to him. Mouth making sounds that never quite made it through the haze. He watched as-

He swallowed a third time, greedy.

And then-

 _Suddenly there was_ _everything._

* * *

 **A/N:** Thank you for reading, please let me know what you think. – There will be one more chapter, stay tuned.

 **Reference:** Please forgive me for butchering the Spanish language, I am google translating.

" _Hijo de puta." – "son of a bitch."_


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Netflix's "Shadowhunters." Everything belongs to whoever owns them, my wishful thinking aside.

 **Authors Note #1:** Because, let's face it, we all needed a little something-something after the season finale.

 **Warnings:** season one spoilers – including the finale. Vampires, sexual content, sex, blood, blood drinking, first time, kinda like a gay virginity loss thing-thing, canon appropriate language and violence.

 **Extasis**

 _ **Chapter Three**_

He came down from the high to find himself clutching at Simon like he was the last permanent thing on earth. Rocking against him with the zipper of his slacks ripped down and Simon's hand snaked inside his briefs, stroking him.

He hiccuped into Simon's skin, licking the wound clean as it closed up. Jittery and languid with it as he tipped his chin, snarling without heat as he welcomed the line of bloody kisses Simon started trailing down his skin.

He felt intoxicated. Powerful, unsteady and embarrassingly close already as Simon's slow strokes continued. Somehow managing to be maddening and everything all at once as the kisses turned into suckling bites that traced the line of his jaw and lingered on the flat-line of his pulse.

He must have said something. Done something. Made some sort of sound because before he could process it, Simon had their positions flipped. Firming him up against the wall as he hushed a negative into the arc of his throat.

"I got'cha," Simon rasped, a fractured note of the same blasphemy as the fledgling fumbled with the buttons of his own jeans. Giving him a half-second to process the intent before their cocks brushed, gliding together with a slick shiver that had him _willing_ , as Simon's hand closed around them and started to-

He caught the man's chin in his hands, bloodying his lip as he stole a kiss. Then another. Turning it filthy in a way he didn't know he was capable of as Simon whimpered into his mouth. The hand on their cocks momentarily loosing it's rhythm before tightened back around them with a force that made him grunt.

He would be red – flushed and humid with it – if he'd been capable.

He was sure of it.

Because this wasn't like anything that had come before.

It was more.

 _It was Simon._

His eyes fluttered shut, decadent with it when Simon stuttered a curse. Adding a twist to the upstroke that swiped the blunt of his nail over the crown of his cock. Catching on quickly when his hips tried to knife forward. But Simon just grinned and did it again. Driving him wild as he bared his teeth at the ceiling and hissed with pleasure.

And to think that less than a year ago that sentence would have been meaningless.

 _Dios, what a thought._

But even then, everything came trembling to a stop when Simon lurched away, panting. Leaving him grasping at air, tractionless and exposed, before he realized the man folding down on his knees in front of him. Looking up at him with eyes that had no right to look as human and fragile as they did the moment his cock kissed the fledgling's lips and slipped inside.

The note he sang was pure and darkly bold when Simon took him in. Enough to tart the air with something new as Simon mouthed the head of his cock almost teasingly. Watching him closely as a suspicious frown crinkled creases across his forehead before understanding gradually flashed like a mortifying tidal surge across the fledgling's face.

"Oh man, Raphael…is-is this okay? Jesus- have you ever done- _oh fuck_ -"

 _He hadn't._

 _Not like this._

 _Never like this._

He liked the way his name sounded when it rolled off Simon's tongue. Unable to stop himself from curling the flat of his palm down the fledgling's cheek. The taste of him still electric in his mouth as Simon swallowed around him in a way that was so different from the pretty girls with sun-kissed skin he'd dutifully brought home to meet his mother. The one's that smelled like the flowers in his abuela's back garden and the earth breathing.

His hips threatened to jump forward again when Simon added the barest hint of fang. Only pinning him flat against the wall like an afterthought when he tried to get more of that dangerous, tight press. Not looking completely opposed to the idea of being given more than his fair share as the fledgling's tongue swirled around the flare of his glands. Making him hiss out a featured moan as he slammed his hand back against the wall. Caving in the drywall with his fist as paint and plaster flaked down the sheer of his ruined slacks.

He looked down – wanting to watch - and nearly lost it.

Because Simon had a mouthful of cock and he was _still_ managing to make noise. Even now, as he cupped the fledgling's chin and forced him to look up - saliva leaking messily out the corners - the air around them was alive with little whimpers that made him burn on the inside as the wet slick of Simon's mouth tightened around him.

 _Oh-_

He hissed, head thudding back against the wall. Overstimulated and suddenly so very close that as his hand firmed in Simon's hair – tugging. Trying to warn him as his hips spasmed, jerking on the very edge of pleasure as Simon just shook his head, determined. Taking him deep as he lost the last shred of control he'd been clinging to and came with shuddering groan.

 _Hermoso._

And suddenly, for one terrible, blinding moment, he swore he saw sunlight.

* * *

It wasn't until later, much later when his perception of the hours was more than a bit skewed and he was half covered by a breathing landscape that scented so strongly of _his_ that he had knew the others would likely never let him hear the end of it.

He stretched, coddling Simon's grumbling as he turned, gathering the fledgling into him. Pressing soft kisses into the fine, downy hairs on the back of his neck as Simon gusted a pleased sound into the destroyed cushions. The pale of his ass flush against him as his cock twitched hopefully. Too sated to commit to anything more than a gentle, off-center rhythm.

"Te extrañe," he whispered, letting the words free without regret as somewhere in the deepest reaches of the hotel, a clock chimed the hour. He blinked slowly, sphinx-eyed and lazy, suppressing the urge to yawn. It was almost sunrise. Heralding the slow drag as the members of his clan retreated into their rooms for sleep.

But he was still surprised when the fledgling answered like he knew.

"I missed you too, you know," Simon replied into the dark. Toes curling as he found his hand and tangled their fingers together as the darkness kept them close.

His smile was small, but honest when it aired out between them. Shaking his head as he looked down at the man in his arms. Unable to help the thought as it whispered through him. Murmuring that if it was a sin to chain an angel to the ground, perhaps it was fitting that his soul was already damned.

* * *

 **A/N:** Thank you for reading, please let me know what you think. – This story is now complete.

 **Reference:** Please forgive me for butchering the Spanish language, I am google translating.

"abuela" – "grandmother."

"Hermoso" – "beautiful."

"Te extrañe" – "I missed you."


End file.
